Well, it is a good thing Capstone II is about ready to come to a close because I believe I am running out of that midnight oil! While the Capstone experience has been tremendously beneficial, it doesn’t come without a price. Opportunity cost is what you give up to get something else, and the cost of Capstone in that regard has been high. Time is a very valuable commodity and there is no more of it in the 24 hour day with or without Capstone.
One of the unintended benefits was the insight into how it must be for those who are dyslexic or learning disabled in some way. Sometimes you just stare with everything you’ve got, and even though you’ve used every skill you possess, you just can’t quite get the meaning of it all. It makes no sense! So, if you’re lucky, you keep trying and eventually you succeed, although some days the path is much, much longer than other days. Even with the “definitions” at the top of the portfolio pages, at times it was a mighty fine distinction. When you take two concepts that in your mind are synonymous then split those among several groups for each category it can make your eyes want to cross and you call out “uncle.” My brain had a very difficult time differentiating between creativity and innovation as to me they are one and the same. Some days the mantra, ‘I am not a quitter. I will not quit.’ is your only lifeline.
There seems to be much disparity between the class and the portfolio. The portfolio sure makes the class seem like a piece of cake! Sometimes the way the information was presented and the way I process information seemed to be on two parallel and non-intersecting planes. This alone was a new experience for me as in the past learning has come easily. My personal struggle was due more to first identifying just what exactly is wanted and then having to package the required information in the pigeon-holed cubbies required for certification more so than the ability to incorporate the tools and meet the requirements. Hard work and perseverance can prevail even when at times it seems all is lost.
I remember having only the first few entries completed (and there were four proficient ratings from Capstone I!) and wondering how I was ever going to find that light at the end of the tunnel. Even today, I can say that was the longest, darkest tunnel I’ve ever traversed. But alas, as the midnight oil cask is nearly as dry as the Arizona desert, there is light. This light comes in the form of my increased knowledge of available tools and my increased ability to formulate technology infused instructional plans so that I may be a beacon of light for others as I implement the NETS*T standards with my students and collaborate with others locally and globally to ensure that we prepare today’s learners for their world in the 21st century and not our past.
Now that this professional development experience is over I can truly say that it was one of the most beneficial (and certainly one of the toughest in terms of time and effort) learning experiences of my life as an educator. Even though I provided many unique and engaging technology infused learning experiences for my students, I now am capable of performing at a remarkably increased level on par with what is necessary for a successful educator in the 21st century.
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